Louis, an Austin business owner and father, knows three couples right now who are getting divorced.
With his own 20-year marriage on the rocks, he would, in other times, be joining their ranks. But he's been furloughed and their kid is about to start college.
The idea of a second rent and more emotional wreckage sounds, to Louis, even less attractive than staying in a bad marriage for a few more months.
"There are a lot of people that are logistically married right now," Louis said, asking that his last name not be used to protect his family's privacy. "That's probably the camp I would put us in, depending on the day."
Stories of strained relationships abound during the pandemic, and the numbers of divorces being filed in Travis County, according to court records, have been increasing every month since April, the first full month of the shutdown and shelter-in-place rules.
But, due to a confluence of factors unique to these times, only half the number of local couples are filing for divorce now than they were at this time last year. Instead, they're choosing to ride out the storm together, for better or for worse. At least for now.
In Travis County, divorces from March through June dropped from 5,334 in 2019 to 2,802 for the same period this year.
In neighboring Williamson County, divorces are down from 2,022 to 1,322 for the same period.
Data on divorce filings provided by the head of court administration for Travis County.(Data courtesy of Kirker Davis)
Austin family attorney Holly Davis said calls to her firm about family problems exacerbated by the pandemic have been "off the charts," so much so that they had to hire extra attorneys.
But court delays, financial hardships and logistical problems mean fewer couples are heading into divorce court, she said.
Courts have been "very good" about responding to families in abusive situations, but non-emergency hearings like deciding who pays the bills are being delayed for weeks or months, she said.
Simple logistics also plays a role, she said. It's more difficult to move and find a place to live, stay with family members who may be compromised healthwise, and run a household alone.
Right now, for example, when most kids are being schooled at home, a second pair of hands can be a lifeline.
"It's Hunger Games out there for nannies right now," Davis said, "and our schools are saying they don't know when they're going to let our kids back in. So if you're trying to run logistics for your household and you're about to split up the house, you're losing half of your help."
Davis and Ashley both predict an increase in filings when times return to normal, and Louis will likely be among them.
The pandemic, he said, revealed long-time problems that he can't ignore by traveling for work all the time now that he's stuck at home on furlough.
"We're at an impasse," he said. "And I won't go back to the status quo."
Part of the phenomenon, Davis said, is that couples are being more thoughtful about the decision to divorce. It's a shift in perspective, in a culture that views divorce as a relatively quick solution to marital problems.
"When your personal health is at risk, and you've got social injustice and racism and protests," Davis said, "the fact that your husband leaves towels on the floor, and has never really loved you in the way that you want to be loved, gets put on the back burner."
And for those who started the pandemic in a healthy marriage, tensions can turn into relationship-builders, said Austin marriage and family therapist Leigh Ashley.
"This kind of thing can expose a weakness, but then those folks that have the skills and the outlook and the camaraderie built, this can just be one of those seasons that actually gives them new and deeper history together," Ashley said.
For Austin public-relations executive Jason Stanford, the pandemic gave them new communications skills and a fresh appreciation for their partnership—strengthening an already solid 10-year marriage.
"Having a person who has promised to look out for you through thick and thin comes in pretty damned handy in a pandemic, come to find out," he said.
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Cold weather is finally hitting Austin, which means it's time to enjoy staying at home and bundling up with some cozy meals.
If you haven't become the cook of your dreams since the pandemic hit, now is the perfect time to try out these recipes which will surely warm your belly.
Blackberry, bacon grilled cheese<img lazy-loadable="true" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNDU5MzQwMS9vcmlnaW4ucG5nIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYyMTU4Nzg0N30.y0sULvOAmBjq1ZbNdQ1fdOUgenNLSkbQitW2O-v-h2E/img.png?width=1200&coordinates=0%2C231%2C0%2C369&height=800" id="248c9" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="0e9c480efdcda9ca576b8bf3de759c3c" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" /><p>If you are looking for a completely different take on a traditional comfort meal, try making a blackberry, bacon grilled cheese. Blackberry, bacon and jalapeños on a grilled cheese? Sounds bizarre, but the mixture of savory, sweet and spicy will have you making these every week.</p><p>This easy recipe will only take 15 minutes and will allow you to cozy up on the couch ready to binge watch your favorite show. For any sandwich lover, this take on a grilled cheese will brighten up any gloomy, cold day.</p><p>You can find the recipe for the blackberry bacon grilled cheese<a href="https://www.lemontreedwelling.com/blackberry-bacon-grilled-cheese/" target="_blank"> here</a>.</p>
Jambalaya<img lazy-loadable="true" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNDU5MzM5OS9vcmlnaW4ucG5nIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY1OTc5OTEyMX0.760iOWCfyYyyXbA7NmyTDUa4FctY00REUXftmBLAtA8/img.png?width=1200&coordinates=0%2C117%2C0%2C439&height=800" id="2fca4" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="ecd9c9503736d209e8dd3e11b94bb4f5" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" /><p>For those of you looking for a hearty and flavorful wintertime dinner, try spicing up your kitchen skills by making a cajun jambalaya.</p><p>Jambalaya is a popular dish originated in New Orleans with West African, French and Spanish inspired flavors. With so many different varieties of flavors, you can modify your jambalaya to suit your desires, and add your own touch to the dish.</p><p>This recipe will take about 55 minutes, and will definitely make your neighbors envy the smell coming from next door.</p><p>You can find the recipe for the cajun jambalaya <a href="https://www.gimmesomeoven.com/jambalaya-recipe/" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Sheet pan chicken tikka with cauliflower and chickpeas<img lazy-loadable="true" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNDU5MzQyNS9vcmlnaW4ucG5nIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYxMTgyOTE3MX0.OOSOmCgn2kXx-KsiZGjZ_cs5r7X1qZZdwNYAJ5lKR_0/img.png?width=1200&coordinates=0%2C310%2C0%2C311&height=800" id="287c6" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="5ada473e20e0a3d9e8e302019bbb3c52" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" /><p><br>For anyone looking for an easy meal prep during the colder months, try making a sheet pan chicken tikka with cauliflower and chickpeas. This recipe is protein-packed and takes 55 minutes to make.</p><p>This recipe is perfect for anyone who wants to get home, cozy up in their favorite sweater and enjoy a warm, flavorful meal. Try pairing this chicken with rice or quinoa for some more substance.</p><p>You can find the recipe for the sheet pan chicken tikka with cauliflower and chickpeas <a href="https://www.prevention.com/food-nutrition/recipes/a25620918/chicken-tikka-sheet-pan-recipe/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">here</a>.</p>
Spicy pork ramen noodle soup<img lazy-loadable="true" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNDU5MzQwMC9vcmlnaW4ucG5nIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYxNzc0NjkyMH0.cIfhB4xkAQdcDYlugGFahbUFRJW-AEklw9i-t68QHxo/img.png?width=1200&coordinates=0%2C530%2C0%2C68&height=800" id="b5335" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="e2f83e6aa50d5d8eafd7c4333b0a51ce" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" /><p><br>If you have five hours to spare at home, put those ramen packets aside and attempt making your own spicy pork ramen. Although it is a bit more time consuming, this ramen will impress everyone in your home and you'll forget about buying ramen from the grocery store.</p><p>The broth is made by slow cooking the pork for four hours, which will enhance the taste and be so worth it. Customize the recipe by adding your favorite vegetables and spice it up a bit more with chili flakes.</p><p>You can find the recipe for the spicy pork ramen noodle soup <a href="https://www.kitchensanctuary.com/spicy-pork-ramen-noodle-soup/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">here</a>.</p>
Vegan mushroom wild rice soup<img lazy-loadable="true" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNDU5MzM5Ni9vcmlnaW4ucG5nIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY1MjU5NzI4MH0.YAE_oJnS50B4xV024Eqhs-9AJESRflIpE5XFzCtPHgI/img.png?width=1200&coordinates=0%2C326%2C0%2C191&height=800" id="1f92b" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="321a1ea7ed77821f7751ba016b02315b" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" /><p>As cold weather approaches, what could be better than a mushroom wild rice soup for dinner? When thinking of winter, cream and mushroom definitely come to mind. If you are looking for the perfect cold weather dish, look no further.</p><p>This warm and comforting dish will take about an hour to make and is completely dairy and gluten free. With minimal ingredients and only one pot needed, the total time you'll spend making this soup is about how long it would take for you to order take out and pick it up. Homemade tastes better anyway.</p><p>You can find the recipe for the vegan mushroom wild rice soup <a href="https://shortgirltallorder.com/vegan-mushroom-wild-rice-soup" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
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